woes of motherhood. April 8, 2004

the puppy came home to live with us this week. since he has come home i’ve had so many questions that i’m becoming a bit overwhelmed by my new all-important-responsible role of puppy mom. for example, i picked up one of these and brought it home for willie (pup of note). he is happily chewing away, when i notice the little lable reads “see our website for feeding instructions”. according to the instructions greenies are not for dogs under 6 months (willie is almost 5), not for toy dogs (willie is a toy breed) and not for dogs who gulp (how do i know if my dog gulps). i especially tune into the part that reads “CAUTION: As with any edible product, monitor your dog to ensure the treat is adequately chewed. Gulping any item can be harmful or even fatal to a dog.” ok so i’ve just given my dog something that could potentially kill him. greeeeeaaaaat. where can i find a new puppy mommy discussion group? rss feed? help!?

i do subscribe to this newsletter and it rocks. but this week i’ll be hunting down some good pet owner blogs, as well as looking for a decent forum or two. i’ll let you know what i find.

b.

passed!! April 6, 2004

as of 11:45 a.m. on wednesday march 31 i am a microsoft office specialist – weeeeee! i have to say the test had a few head scratchers that had me thinking that i would not be going home a victor. possibly the biggest impact is that i actually learned a lot from the whole process. i learned that in the united states after you graduate from your studies you are rarely tested on knowledge acquisition or application. i’m honestly not sure if i would have internalized the new skills i learned for using word 2003 if i had not known i was going to be tested.

needless to say i think i have already saved 2-3 hours of my life within the last week because i’m much more efficient when working in word. i’m almost embarrassed to share some of my new skills because they seem so obvious i can only assume i’m was the lone person on earth who did not know how to do them.

thanks to all for the well wishes the past week. stay tuned for excel next!

b.

test day! March 30, 2004

is tomorrow. i’m taking the Microsoft Office Specialist exam for Word 2003 tomorrow at the compusa in tukwila. i can’t believe i have test anxiety… i finished the step by step elearning for Word 2003 and took the post assessment – good news – i am improving. Assessment results -Core Training for Microsoft Office Word 2003 Post Assessment.htm looks like charts and graphs are my weak area. the other question i answered incorrectly had to do with making modifications to an existing template. just a dumb goof on my part. at any rate – i should know tomorrow if i have what it takes to be a Microsoft Office Specialist in Word. stay tuned….

b.

so not a specialist. March 26, 2004

i took a practice exam for word 2003 knowledge. this is what i discovered. i stink at word. check it out. Assessment results -Core Training for Microsoft Office Word 2003 Pre-Assessment.htm

needless to say i’ve worked through about half of the lessons in the step by step book, and learned quite a few things. i’m compiling a list of the top 11 things that are cool in word 2003. why 11? because 11 is better than 10.

b.

eating your own dogfood. March 25, 2004

if you follow microsoft lore at all you probably know that this is a common phrase used around the company. the concept is simple: if we are going to ask our customers to use our products, we better make sure we are too! in fact much of what sits on my desktop at the moment is still in beta so that i can help the developers work around issues and suggestions as they move towards a public release.

in that spirit it is time for me to eat my own chow and become a Microsoft Office Specialist Master Instructor! this is no small feat mind you, it requires i become certified in all the Office applications, as well as validate my ability to teach/instruct. my first certification goal is to pass the new Microsoft Office Specialist Word 2003 exam, and i’ve been using a few tools to prepare including Office Online, a Microsoft Word 2003 Step by Step book and some online training from the Microsoft eLearning Library.

in terms of how i think becoming a Microsoft Office Specialist will help me on the job, i’m curious to see if taking the time to get trained, and then validating that training with certification will show in the documents i create. to that end i may even post some before and after documents for all to see.

finally earlier this week i had a great conversation with Margie Semilof over at Tech Target.com who has posted a write up of the Microsoft Office Specialist certification. pay attention to the Robert Half information – it’s pretty cool what they are doing with Microsoft Office Specialist.

b.

12 minute run. March 8, 2004

remember the presidential test for physical fitness? if you were in middle school during the 80’s i’m guessing you do. of the various activities that we were tested on, there were two that haunted me – were my nemesi (if there is such a word) year in and year out. they were the bar hang and the 12 minute run. without going into too much detail i’ll share this much:

1. i never “hung” for more than .5 second
2. i never ran for 12 minutes

so to find myself on a relatively quiet sunday afternoon running almost a mile in 12 minutes at 32 years of age and still 29lbs away from my goal weight – well let’s just say right along with freddie mercury and the gang i was feeling very much the champion. short term goal is to see if i can run for 14 minutes straight. weeeeeeee. and i’ll just keep eyeballing the bar we have installed in the doorway to the laundry room….

b.

exercise and sunshine. February 26, 2004

is interfering with my ability to blog. for the last week it has been beautiful outside; warm and sunny. because of that i’ve been compelled (or strongly encouraged to spend time outside walking). i’ve also been exercising a lot because i want to be more than halfway towards my goal weight by the time phase two of my program begins. so much has fallen by the wayside since i began this quest towards greater health and fitness.

a few of the casualties are:

i made it 1/3 of the way through zelda windwaker and then quit.
i only log onto star wars galaxies to check my in game email.
i no longer obessively blog before bedtime
i have not eaten chips, dips, cheese, crackers or any combination thereof since november

now i can:

see my toes
fit in an airplane seat
zip up my kick ass boots all the way
run

in four months i will:

finish my first triathlon in under 3 hours
see my feet
wear my fabulous red chinese pants
stop traffic.

b.

aaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! February 26, 2004

i just wrote the best post and then i lose connection as it’s posting and it is gone. lost. forever. my brain hurts.

b.

we are all william. February 19, 2004

why the fascination? because inside all of us is a little bit of william dying to get out.

b.

oh the irony. February 19, 2004

just saw a lincoln/mercury luxury suv commercial with the peter gabriel song “big time” playing as the soundtrack. what?? what?? i had resigned myself to the music i brooded to growing up being used to sell stuff after mazda co-opted the smiths how soon is now? for one of their commercials. but this musical gaffe is so obvious it belies belief. can’t decide who i am more annoyed with: lincoln or gabriel. *sigh*

b.

suc cess

I’m on my way, I’m making it
I’ve giot to make it show, yeah
so much larger than life
I’M going to watch it growing

the place where I come from is a small town
they think so small
they use small words
-but not me
I’m smarter than that
I worked it out
I’ve been stretching my mouth
to let those big words come right out

I’ve had enough, I’m getting out
to the city, the big big city
I’ll be a big noise with all the big boys
there’s so much stuff I will own
and I will pray to a big god
as I kneel in the big church

big time
I’m on my way-I’m making it
big time big time
I’ve got to make it show yeah
big time big time
so much larger than life
big time
I’m going to watch it growing
big time

my parties all have big names
and I greet them with the widest smile
tell them how my life is one big adventure
and always they’re amazed
when I show them round my house, to my bed
I had it made like a mountain range
with a snow-white pillow for my big fat head
and my heaven will be a big heaven
and I will walk through the front door